Use ‘time-out’. This removes the child from the action and ensures he will not get attention. Here are some strategies for time-out:
• Pick a room for time-out. Usually the child’s bedroom is used, though it can be any room where he will be safe. Sometimes you can use the time-out technique in a chair in the corner of the room, although this is more difficult and used more in older children.
• If your child is doing something of which you disapprove, warn him that if he doesn’t stop immediately, you will put him in his room.
• Only warn him once — then act. Never warn and then fail to act on your warning. This undermines your whole strategy by creating uncertainty as to whether you are serious.
• If he does not stop after the warning, take him to his room immediately. Do not explain to him why you are doing this — explanation at this time is a form of reinforcement.
• Leave him there for 5 minutes, then go and tell him he can come out of his room. Treat him normally after the time-out — do not talk to him about the event.
Time-out is especially effective for aggressive behaviour such as hitting or biting.
Have appropriate expectations that are relevant to the age of the child, and remember that children differ from each other in temperament. Some children will inevitably be more active and curious than others, and may be more likely to test limits more often.
Do not blame yourself for your child’s behaviour. While it is true that some parenting practices may reinforce undesirable behaviour, parents do not cause a child’s behaviour problems.
Behaviour is always more difficult to manage when you are not in your home. Parents often report that their child plays up when they are visiting friends and relatives, or out shopping, for example in the supermarket. The principles of behaviour management are exactly the same as outlined above, although it is much more difficult to carry them out consistently. It is understandable that parents may feel embarrassed in front of friends or strangers, and be reluctant to maintain the principles of behaviour modification.
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